That’s what I want others to understand. To truly make the day yours, let go of the expectations. Focus on what matters most to you and your partner. This is your story, your beginning—celebrate it in a way that feels real, not as a performance for others.

When planning the ‘best day of my life’ I remember feeling totally overwhelmed as the guest list kept growing. I found myself torn between inviting people I hadn’t seen in years, close colleagues that I liked and would get offended if they weren’t invited and extended family my parents insisted on inviting. It felt like this day was slipping away from what I truly wanted.

In the midst of this, my husband and I made a hard call and we called my mum and told her we wanted to cancel the wedding. We had decided to elope, to bring the day back to something that felt true to us. After a tough conversation, my parents urged us to take a few days to think before making a final decision. And so we waited, holding off on invitations and reconsidering what this day meant to us.

Over those days, it became clear. The big wedding wasn’t for us. As someone who spent my younger years traveling, I couldn’t justify spending on fleeting things—flowers that would wilt, a cake I didn’t even like—just didn’t feel right.

D